Motivating Women - Personal Trainer Community - Forum

[tadawdy]

I'm a relatively new trainer, and I'm doing well overall. I've got one thing that's bugging me.

I've noticed that a lot of women I've trained, much more so than the men, want to do a certain number of reps and then stop, rather than working for any real fatigue. I had a new client yesterday who snapped at me when I innocently said the dumbbell squats we were doing were too easy for her, after she had done 17 of them with little strain and I stopped her.

The women at my gym are obviously less athletically experienced, so maybe they don't understand that holding weights doesn't magically make a movement hard enough. I try to explain the way this is supposed to work, but they just keep asking me how many reps we're doing. The correct answer, most of the time, is "you'll know." With a few people, though, we never get there. If I try to bump the weights up, they just complain that it's hard.

If I weren't a new trainer and could be more selective, I simply wouldn't deal with these whiners. I don't have that choice at the moment.

I've gotten through to everyone but this person, who I most likely won't be seeing again, but I'm anticipating having this issue again.

Any tips on motivating people, particularly women, who are resistant to lift heavy enough weights? I've pulled out every trick to increase the intensity of their workouts, but sometimes you just have to lift heavier weights.

[Dinah]

Hey tadawdy,

I think we might be in the same boat. (Check out my Thread here Check my Thinking: Too Much 'Tude?) And I think you're right -- this won't be the last time you'll encounter this.

I haven't trained any men yet, so my experience has only been with women, but I am thinking that this problem may be about training people who aren't as motivated or experienced as others. I've also gathered from talking to both genders, who aren't currently engaging in any kind of exercise program, that "pushing yourself" is a very foreign and scary concept.

Although I will say that women do seem afraid of heavier weights and are concerned that they will appear "bulky".

What am I concluding is that as a personal trainer it is your responsibility to adhere to the standards and principles of training to the best of your ability such as appropriate load for a particular exercise (not too easy, not impossible either), completing a specific number of sets and reps, and reinforcing proper form with every repetition (deliberate movement and / or making every move count). If you've been working with this client for a while, you should have a good handle on the maximum number of reps they can do until they reach fatigue. If you're watching their form with every rep, you can see how they lose form as they fatigue.

Instead of saying "You'll know", which essentially means nothing to these types of clients, you could say "Let's go to (x# of reps) and then determine if you can go for a few more." Personally, as my clients reach toward the maximum rep of an exercise, I start to motivate them, asking them if they can give me one or two more reps. I really try to build in a sense of accomplishment with each exercise. Ultimately my goal is to get them to want to push themselves -- making that mind-body connection with each exercise, so they can really tune in and feel themselves getting stronger.

The client I reference in the post mentioned above, is really starting to make the mind-body connection with the majority of exercises. It's because she's feeling that she's getting stronger and because I've tried my best to balance what works for her (counting the reps) and adhering to the principles and standards of training.

Of course, if they simply refuse to do it, then in my opinion you have two choices: 1) explain the ramifications of not progressing with an increase in resistance or 2) maybe it is in fact time to refer your client to another trainer.

I know I'll be interested to hear what a more seasoned trainer has to say about this.


Dinah

[tadawdy]

Thanks for your reply.

I agree it is partially due to lack of exercise experience. It isn't often in your daily life that you do something to the point that you simply can't anymore. It's a matter of calibrating your RPE.

I actually talked to one of my female clients, with whom I have great rapport, about this today just to get a sense of what she felt. She's really averse to lifting much weight, so I basically have to trick her into working hard, be it with full-body movements, deceptively difficult movements, or the like.

Her response highlighted an aspect of this, aside from experience. She asked, very politely, "why would a girl want to do that?" when i asked her why she thinks I never see women using the squat racks at my gym. My answer, along with an explanation, was "why wouldn't you want to do such an effective exercise?" Especially on a lower-body day, we really need at least one heavier movement, and that's one way to accomplish that before we do more entertaining activities. It's partially intimidation, and partially a culturally-reinforced notion that women and men are fundamentally different when it comes to athletic ability and training needs.

The truth is: they ain't that much different. They may have different goals, but weight loss and "general fitness," which is as directed as the clientele at this gym really comes, are basically accomplished the same in men and women. Do a high-volume of work, and keep the workouts intense. If we did unilateral movements all day, we'd be doubling the time spent on each exercise.

[Fitness_Geek]

I can definately relate to this tadawdy. Most of my clients are women as well and whining is very common. They asked to be pushed hard but complain about it the entire time. Some people think that by just hiring a traininer, they will magically make progress without any effort. If your client is complaining, then let them complain. If you already explained how fatigue works then there isn't much else you can do. Don't pay it any attention, just continue conversing with them as normal and go through the session. As for their repititions, I have to agree with Dinah and change your explanation a little bit. I'm not saying that it's wrong, it's good to hold a sense of humor with your clients, but they aren't responding. It sounds like you might have some really high maintenance clients. What I've done is let people feel what the burn is supposed to feel like. The first time I meet someone, I'm just gauging how much they can lift and how many times. For example, I'll have someone do squats, with no added weight. I say "Do as many as you can comfortably and without breaking form." When they stop I ask "How many more could you do?" I've found that this isn't full proof either, because some would stop at 20 when they could do 30. Just experiment and see what works best.

[Christina]

Some people think that by just hiring a traininer, they will magically make progress without any effort.

And that is exactly why trainers get frustrated with their clients. I get so irritated when people stop short of what I KNOW they could do. Women are the absolute worst. I've never had a male client who didn't work hard.

Christina

[kit1811]

I'm new to this, too (and new to this forum - it's awesome) and I've worked with men and women. I work solo, and I've actually worked women (particularly older women) too soft! My approach is about strength over weightloss, so my clients tend to be willing to lift weights from the get go.

I've had some success with pointing clients to studies that pair resistance training in women with reduced bone loss, sharper mental acuity and better balance as we age. And resistance has to FEEL like something, it has to be hard, to be a benefit. Sometimes I'll start someone with a "let's see how you feel doing this," and I'll just keep 'em at it until I can see some fatigue then say "okay, see if you can do X more." Or I'll have them stop at the bottom of the last rep and hold the position for X number of seconds. I like goals and challenges, and love to praise when someone accomplishes them. Oh, and also, if someone isn't pushing, I'll give them props for form, if applicable, but not for effort. It's subtle, but it sometimes helps.

Oooh, also, if you can explain a specific benefit an exercise has to someone, it might get them pushing themselves, e.g., these lat pulls are going to give you that nice v-shape and your back will look fricking awesome in a summer dress, or yeah, planks stink, but your posture is going to improve and so is your balance.

It might depend on your personality - I'm kind of a booger, so depending on the client I'll say stuff like "come on, I want you to OWN that sidewalk next time you're on it. Are you going to step aside for anyone? No! You can't strut if you don't have strong legs, let's go!" Get 'em in "grrrrr" mode so they power through it. My trainer is my mentor and his approach was just perfect for me - I always wanted to do just a little more than we planned if I could manage it.