Sperm Donor? Perception of a PT - Personal Trainer Community - Forum

[kaiserS]

I'm sure you know the story of Carlos Leon -

He's the Personal Trainer (although I'm not sure what he does now) that
impregnated Madonna for her first child -

It's just an example of a common stigma for trainers, especially males - there's a kind
of perception women have of us, whether conscious or not, as "escorts" -

Personal Training is a cool, fun job and if you're making money everything is great -
you probably won't mind if this gets you "in" with girls, or makes you a more fun
person to hang with -

But we're talking about something different here, a phenomena that you can relate to
if you've been a trainer for a little while - that we're these fit guys that are here to
take care of their physical needs, whatever they may be -

They feel comfortable making blatant passes at us because of what we do -

When you get started this can be flattering - but after a while and depending on the
situation it can feel a little degrading -

I know I'm sounding like a major prude when I say something like that - most guys
are looking to get theirs and don't care how they get it - I know, I've been there -

But I've got a funny view on this - try to follow me -

That if you need to "steal" women from your work or professional situation, it's the
sign of an imbalanced personal life - it means you're lacking in your personal game,
and you need to step it up. You're not getting out enough and not interacting with
people in natural social situations -

Our society has situations and venues built for equal partaking in meeting up and
socializing - there's actually a very clear division between these social places and
work situations -

Furthermore, if you're taking full advantage of your social life, meeting people when
and where you work will feel almost gross -
So take my word for it, or figure it out the hard way!

[zoggy]

Not sure if you are trying to convince us or yourself....
I have never had this problem, because I never let it get to that _ while it is ok to be friendly and compliment your clients I will randomly in context of a conversation mention my family, my wife and my kids.....and speak highly of them.... this lets them know in a nice way, there is a boundary and it is always respected

I see this no diffrent to any other job, if you are in an office, same rules apply.... there is a BIG diffrence with harmless flirting and coming on to someone

[Christina]

It goes without saying that people like Carlos Leon give our industry a bad name. I mentioned before about female trainers who look like strippers and prostitutes on their websites. I honestly do not know what some people are thinking. Can you imagine if your chiropractor or physical therapist acted like this? Personally, I don't even think that harmless flirting is okay. When I work with a male client I make extra sure that I do not give him the wrong impression. I always talk about my husband and I inquire about his wife and family. I also wear professional attire such as khakis and a polo shirt. (Never anything remotely suggestive.)

Christina

[kaiserS]

while it is ok to be friendly and compliment your clients I will randomly in context of a conversation mention my family, my wife and my kids.....and speak highly of them.... this lets them know in a nice way, there is a boundary and it is always respected

Yes that's definitely the point - it's crucial to set up those boundaries early - it makes a lot easier on you and your client to know exactly what to expect (and not to expect) from the relationship.

[spoken20]

post deleted.

[AKBrown]

Personally, I don't even think that harmless flirting is okay.

I completely agree. In my other profession (MT) there is no room for harmless flirting and I carry that with me to other areas of business in which there are power differentials. I would not appreciate harmless flirting as a client. Yes, I definitely agree with creating the boundaries and sticking to them.

Are these types of ethics not addressed in the personal training education? Are they addressed within the associations?

[Palpatine]

There's no such thing as "harmless flirting".

Is that like "practicing cheating" but not *really* cheating???

Don't light a fuse...fuses are not dynamite but they ALL lead to dynamite.

JEEZ, I'm not trying to bash you for saying that...but it's the worst detail in a message that I've EVER seen. I think BECAUSE of the jobs we do...we must *especially* be above the stereotype of the flirting gigilo or the glorified prostitute (with fitness knowledge of course).

How many men *and* women have, for example, got on the internet for the first time and started chatting and doing a little "harmless flirting" then got carried away into very bad situations or destroying their families. Why tempt yourself...

I think a compliment *reinforced* with fitness goals that the client is seeking...is ok...i.e. "I think you're really starting to drop the fat pounds! That's great news, what we need to do is reevaluate you in a few weeks and see how close we are to your goals"...but not "You're really starting to look hot." (or something). Flirting is NEVER "ok" and NEVER harmless. There is risk. We already have such a stereotype...why increase it.