What to do with Clients who want a "perfect" body? - Personal Trainer Community - Forum

[moxette]

This is something I have been faced with for years and it came up again this morning with a newer client. She is 59 yrs old, very active, very healthy and at her ideal weight. She is a little thick in the thighs and torso and is feeling terrible because she is "so fat". (She is a size 6)She wants me to help her lose 2 dress sizes and 10lbs. Here is my problem, she looks great, eats great, and already has a good solid workout program. My gut is to tell her that if she wants to be perfect, she is going to have to eat perfect and workout perfect. What I really want to tell her is that she looks fantastic and perfect can be annoying! I understand there may be underlying stuff about getting older and trying to look as good as she can for her age, but where do I stand as her trainer to give her the best advice while still giving her the service she wants?

[Christina]

Hi moxette,

My gut is to tell her that if she wants to be perfect, she is going to have to eat perfect and workout perfect. What I really want to tell her is that she looks fantastic and perfect can be annoying!

Perhaps you should just be honest with her and tell her. That's what I would do at least.

Also, if she lost 2 dress sizes would she still be in a healthy weight/BMI range? That is something to consider and discuss with her as well.

Christina

[megfit]

This is where (life) coach training could REALLY help you help her! As a life coach, you could reach in and have her investigate what it is she really wants and how that will benefit her right now.

Margie

[kettlebell king]

Hi Margie,
Can you recommend any good life coaching schools in U.S or U.k- am coming to U.S soon so could do either
regards
sam

[Christina]

Hi Sam,

See if this thread helps.

http://www.fitnessthinktank.com/foru...ng-vt1065.html

Are you moving to the U.S.?!?

Christina

[megfit]

Hi Guys,

Sorry this thread went so long before I saw it. The difference between life coaching and therapy is with life coaching you are looking at how to move the client forward, not addressing what issues have led to this. With therapy, they address what things in their past have led them to where they are, today.

Although I may be wrong in this assumption, but most people easily get a sense of when the sessions are starting to hint at therapy. And, it is NOT unusual for a client to work with BOTH a therapist and a coach. I have one wellness coaching client whom I insisted she find a therapist before I would start working with her. She has a good 200# to lose, and when people have that much extra weight on them, there are issues VERY beyond what just a coach (or a dietitian or a trainer) can appropriately address. This is an eating disorder and must be handled accordingly.

I'm able to help her address how she will handle her day-to-day issues in order to move forward to accomplish her goals, where the therapist can help her get into touch with the issues from the past that have led to where she is right now.

Also, there was a great question about coaching schools in the UK. Coaching is HUGE in the UK, and I know they have a strong ICF contingent there. The ICF conference has been there in the past, too. So, definitely spend some time on the ICF site, http://www.coachfederation.org/ICF/. I do know that the school I graduated from, Coach Training Institute (here is the UK link; http://www.coaching-courses.com/) is international. In fact, while doing my course (which is live, by the way), there were several people from other countries in them! (Quick explanation; CTI's courses are all live, in order, for 5 courses. You can take each course wherever you are, but must take them in order.)

Spend time on the ICF site. It will explain what coaching is. Also spend time on the Coachville site (http://www.coachville.com).

Finally, as Christina mentioned there is fitness/wellness coaching and then 'life' coaching. They really are not too dissimilar, it's just that with wellness coaching, that's your primary focus. The theories and techniques and strategies are all basically the same. So, if someone just wanted to expand on their wellness services to improve outcomes, taking a course on wellness coaching would be very helpful. WellCoaches is very affordable and has an excellent reputation. And, as Christina pointed out in the other thread on this topic, ACSM provides CEUs.

Margie

[megfit]

Although most people believe that coaching is new, it really has been around for over 30 years! And there are very specific techniques, tools and strategies that go along with coaching. The funny thing about coaching is that therapists are getting into coaching in DROVES, because they can move away from the (limiting) insurance strangle-hold and make even more of a difference than with traditional therapy.

One thing to keep in mind is that in 'clean' coaching, YOU don't provide anything. The client comes up with it all. Now, with that said, as either a trainer (or a dietitian, or both, as in my case), you certainly can provide clients with plans to help them achieve their goals. However, I'll give you some examples of what coaching is all about.

Let's take a coach who specializes in wellness. As Christina is being introduced to, there is a great little tool you can use in coaching called the Wheel of Life. It's pretty much a standard and can be used in ANY kind of coaching. And, in fact, although some programs fill in the pieces of pie with pre-determined areas, an ideal one is to make it even MORE client-driven by making it just a big circle and instructing the client to fill in what it will look like. This literally could become a book if I go into too much detail, so let's say your client fills it out, including areas of health that are important to them. You then can instruct your client to then fill up these sections showing how 'full' they are, such as let's say they feel they lack in exercise, so to make MY life easier (lol), check out this link for an example of what I'm trying to talk about. http://www.thecoaches.com/wheel_landing.html. You'll have to answer the questions, which are all-encompassing, but the result will give you an idea of what I'm talking about. (Christina, if you work this, you'll see the difference between a 'life' coaching focus and a 'wellness' coaching focus.)

So, what this tool can do, during the assessment period, let's say, is help you communicate with your client what he/she wants to most work on! And, for sake of ease, let's say they want to most work with (ta, da!) increasing their exercise.

Then you again put them in the driver's seat by asking questions. That's what coaching is all about; asking questions and questions and questions. The PURPOSE of the questions is, yes, to help you be very clear, but MOSTLY to help the client attain clarity. Why do they want to increase exercise? What has held them back from doing so in the past? (yes, it's a past question) Where do they see themselves struggling? What can they do right now to ease that struggling? Etc, etc.

So, let's say this person decides that they would like to increase exercise. And, as a trainer, you also perform a fitness assessment to find out where they are right now. You also take down other intake information to determine what their goals are IN increasing exercise. Therefore, yes, as a trainer, you then can design a program for them to help them achieve their fitness goals.
And, let's say you see them twice a month (since now you are COACHING them and don't need to see them as often), and they have set up their short-term goals for the next two weeks in order to move them towards their ultimate goals in working with you.

But then they're not doing them.

This is where NEW questions start coming into play and new exercises/tools come into play. And every coaching school/program has different tools and exercises. It's all the same, no matter what type of coaching. One easy and very effective thread of questions is this: "What does it cost you to not do this?" and they can probably very easily list what it costs them. However, the next question needs persistence as a coach, "How do you benefit by not doing this?" 99% of the time, the person is going to say, 'it doesn't!' However, as a coach, you are trained to not let it go. You are entirely there to help your client break old blocks that have held them back, and caused them to 'fail' in the past. There is always some benefit to not doing something they want to do. But, what's important to point out is you are NOT looking at 'what did your parents do to do when you were a child that makes you avoid this' type of questions. You are entirely looking at what's going on right now to hold you back. There's the key difference.

A perfect recent example. I offer an online 'coaching gym' program for wellness clients. One of my 'gym' members very early showed a lot of signs of resistance to increasing her exercise OR changing her eating habits. So, through very similar questions, she realized that if she loses weight, she is afraid that she'll start sleeping around on her husband! Although we have since discussed the importance of finding a therapist to work with, just the fact that she realizes this has helped her start moving forward with more activity. She is also now in a support group...

This may not be clear enough to explain, and it's only ONE example, but I guess the main point is that, with training, you learn tools and exercises that ARE appropriate to use with clients in a coaching relationship. Coaching is not just listening; it's moving clients forward using tools and exercises and persistence. In a nutshell, coaching is helping clients move forward FASTER than they would on their own. We like to think that everyone WILL accomplish their goals, but sometimes they need, lol, a kick in the pants. A kinder way to put it is motivation and someone who is totally objective, in their corner.

Something else to point out. The client is ALWAYS right. They may not be moving forward, but there's a reason and they are still right, because somewhere within them, they know why. As a coach, it's our job to help them uncover what's holding them back. If you start to enter territory where it's because their father beat them, or they were sexually abused, etc, etc, etc, then it's time to take a step back and help them find the professional who can help them with THAT issue.

One last point, while I'm at it, then seriously it's back to finance study: There are TONS of people out there who are calling themselves coaches. And often their qualification is they have experienced whatever they are 'coaching' on. That same client I mentioned who has #200 pounds to lose, has a 'food coach'. This woman has had no training at all, and because she lost weight, she now calls herself a coach. But, instead of actually coaching, she instead is always telling her what she must do to lose weight. Then I hear how much this client does NOT want to see this woman. So, what do we address? We address where else in her life does she not take control of what she really wants, and what DOES she want to do about/with this woman? I personally think this woman does more harm than good. And, although I have tried to say very little, because the coaching relationship HAS to be totally open and honest, I have shared that opinion with my client. However, if she stays with her or not doesn't matter to me; what matters to me is what my client wants. And if I learned nothing else in all of my coaching education, it's to completely remove myself from the outcomes my clients achieve.

However, since my specialty (what I REALLY love to do) is business coaching, I CAN say that all of my business clients DO achieve their goals in getting their businesses up and running and earning the income they dream of. And, how do I do that? I do it through the coaching AND using my specialty of business. Just as with wellness coaching, I am not telling clients what to do because *I* did it. I'm asking them questions: What do they want to create, how would they like that to look in 1,3,5,10 years from now, and... the list of questions goes on. What I do is help clients dig into themselves so that the business they DO create is the nuts-and-bolts of what they dream of vaguely and haven't put onto paper or shared with enough people to make it real. And, often, sharing online isn't QUITE the same as sharing it in person with a community..

Margie

[Christina]

Although most people believe that coaching is new, it really has been around for over 30 years!

I'll let you and John continue discussing this but I just wanted to chime in and say that my husband used to be a management consultant and used many of these same tactics/strategies in the late 80s/early 90s. He used coaching as a way to increase the productivity of his clients' employees. In fact, when I was going through my Wellcoaches material with him he was already familiar with a lot of it because he had used many of the strategies 20 years ago in business! Interestingly, the lady who founded Wellcoaches was an executive in the biotech and pharmaceutical industries. What she did was apply the coaching process to the wellness and fitness industry.

Christina

[kettlebell king]

interesting i'll definatel follow that link Christina and I'll have a look in too that school of coaching in the U.K Margie. Don't now if i'm moving to U.S christina but the UK 'summer weather' is really getting me down at the moment and I love to train people outdoors!